2 years

It’s been two years since my mom passed away, and I miss her dearly. One thing I’ve come to realize is that a mother’s love is priceless. Even if you and your mother don’t always get along, no one will ever love you like she does. Don’t waste your life holding grudges or expecting perfection from imperfect people. Our parents aren’t gods; they’re simply human, with all the neuroses and fears that everyone else has. You probably won’t get a heads-up when they embark on their final journey, so tell them you love them before you regret not saying it.

It’s also been two years since I’ve had no parents in my life. My dad died over 30 years ago, and I’m used to his absence. I’ve built up a callus over my heart for that loss. But I always had my mom. Now, I just have my stepdad. He’s a great stepfather, but our relationship is different from that of a parent and child. It’s more like we both loved the same person in different ways, and now we share that loss together. I’ve known him longer than I knew my own dad, but he wasn’t my father and he has sons of his own. Even so, we love each other, and I’m grateful he’s in my life. It’s different, but it’s still a privilege.

Most people I know have both parents, often well into their lives. Over the years, I’ve connected with many people who, like me, have lost a parent. The shock of that loss often affects a person’s life trajectory. I’ve met so many people who, after losing a mother or father, felt lost or struggled to find their way. It’s like dropping a boulder in a pond—the ripples can be massive.

I’ve only met a handful of people who’ve lost both parents. I could count them on one hand: Ben, Alyssa, Jack, my sisters. I know people in their seventies who still have a parent. How fortunate it is to live such a long life with that love. Honor and respect it.

Here’s what I want to say about all this. I’ve met many people who are talented, confident, and convinced they’ve succeeded on their own merits. They believe their acumen is entirely their own. Yet they forget the people who brought them into this world. They overlook the privilege of having parents who were there for them, who loved them, even with their flaws. Even if you have just one parent, it’s a privilege to be loved by them. I feel lucky to have had my mom for 38 years, painful memories and all. Now that she’s gone, I realize I’ll never have that maternal love again in this life. All I can do is share my love with those I care about and help that love grow.

My wife is pregnant with our second son, due any day now. One thing I’ve learned is that we don’t know how long any of us have in this world, so I’m committed to giving my all for as long as I can. I’ll keep going until I can’t. I’ll take care of myself as best I know, work to improve, and try my best, even when I don’t feel like the best. I’ll find joy and love because I want to live my best for these boys. I want to raise them to be men of true character—better men than I am. And I’m a pretty damn good man. I know this because my mom told me so.

Tell your parents you love them. Hug your mom tight. Tell your kids, and be there for them. Listen. Laugh. Love. Don’t hold love back, and never regret it.

None of us know how long we have, so take every moment you get and treat others the way you’d want to be treated. Live with love, always.