Sam S.
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Vive
My family motto is Moriendo Vive, which translates to “In dying, live.” It is often used to express that a person’s legacy can live on after their death. Nothing seems more fitting than this in my life in many ways over. My Mom passed away on April 29th, 2022 unexpectedly, and on April 30th, 2024…
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2 years
It’s been two years since my mom passed away, and I miss her dearly. One thing I’ve come to realize is that a mother’s love is priceless. Even if you and your mother don’t always get along, no one will ever love you like she does. Don’t waste your life holding grudges or expecting perfection…
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The day my dad died by suicide
“Sam, get up.” I heard my mom yell from the stairwell up to my bedroom on the third floor of our River Oaks house. I was confused—it felt like I’d just gone to sleep. Assuming it was time for school, I put on my khaki shorts, white polo shirt, grabbed my backpack, and went downstairs.…
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My Mom was not a perfect mother. I loved her anyway.
My mom threatened to kill us both once. I’d gotten a bad grade in Chemistry in the first quarter of my junior year of high school. The first person I’d ever deeply cared for had broken up with me, and I couldn’t focus on school. When my grades came out, my mom was livid. She…
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Bill
It always blows my mind when the best of us are also the worst of us. My stepbrother Bill fit that bill. Bill was smarter than 99% of the people around him. He was witty. Charming. Handsome. Sharp. Too sharp—cuttingly sharp, so much so that he’d hurt you on purpose. He’d hurt those closest to…
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January 6th, three years later
On January 6, 2021, my son was a week old when Americans stormed the Capitol at the urging of a President who didn’t want to give up power. I had always been a proud American—until that moment. For the first time in our democracy, the peaceful transfer of power wasn’t honored, and we were watching…
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My Friend’s Front Lawn
My best friend from high school died on December 16, 2008. He was the “Chandler Bing” of our friend group—charming, charismatic, witty, and wildly fun. But he was also our “Matthew Perry,” struggling deeply with mental health and addiction. After many years battling manic depression and substance abuse, he died by suicide, like my father,…
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My Profession
My sisters and I spread our mom’s ashes in the Adirondacks last October, in the same stream where we’d watched her scatter our father’s ashes nearly 30 years earlier. She died last April from complications due to cigarette smoking. She was just one of almost 500,000 people who die from cigarettes each year, but she…
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Love and Grit; A Eulogy
Our mother loved fiercely. She loved our father fiercely. She loved her children fiercely. She loved my stepfather fiercely and she loved my stepbrothers fiercely. Sometimes she loved us so fiercely, it hurt. Sometimes it could be so sweet too. Deborah Sullivan Lee was a proud daughter of Houston. Her family came to Texas by…
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Valley Park Bird
On Saturday mornings, we go to Valley Park in Hermosa Beach. We go so Mac can go to Sportball, where he runs, kicks, throws, and laughs. He plays the “sport of the day” with about 12 to 15 other toddlers. Mostly, we parents chase after our kids as they find something more interesting and run…
